I am a fun kind of guy with a somersaulting sort of mind, and I've often thought how cool it would be if we found behind-the-scenes documents written by the Apostle Paul—not Scriptures, mind you, but personal musings by the apostle, written in a more common language than his official letters, that would give us insight into who the man, Paul, really was. Well, since no such documents have ever been uncovered, I decided to write them myself. 

 

So here is the first in a series of six documents "uncovered" in the computer of Martin Zender, in which our friend the Apostle Paul gives us an inside look at his personal musings, including such interesting things as how he feels when he's under the inspiration of the holy spirit, the problems he has with his scribe Tertius, and where he goes for a drink in order to unwind. 

 

I thank God for giving us these fun little liberties so that we can better understand Him and those weak vessels He has used throughout history to bring humanity the most profound of truths. 

 

As you can see, the hurricane that was supposed to hit us here in South Florida has been downgraded to a tropical storm. How embarrassing for a hurricane. Really. This is one of the worst thing that can happen to a hurricane, and it has just happened to Isaias—which, by the way, is the stupidest name ever for a hurricane. I am glad that this thing could not even maintain Category 1 hurricane status. Had it mushroomed into, say, a Category 4, then it might have become memorable—even historic—and then we might have had to remember this stupid name forever. Hell, no one can even pronounce it now. 

 

I am remaining yours from the land of occasional heavy wind but mostly swaying palm trees,

 

—Martin