No, it is not fair that God makes some people vessels of honor and some vessels of dishonor. He decides this before anyone is born. This is not about "fair," it's about God's delight. God will be All in all. This is the truth that allows us to believe Romans chapter 9 without freaking out. God needs
opposition. And so He creates the opposition, and than blames the opposition for being opposition—also known as judgment, or blaming. The result is that the judged being learns not only of him or herself, but about God.
Even Pharaoh and Judas will one day praise God for making them vessels of dishonor and playing their part in the great eonian
drama.
The same people who complain about God judging those He hardens, shockingly, also complain about God blessing THEM, even though God has done everything for them. They hate it that God judges people who aren't ultimately responsible, and they hate it that God blesses people who aren't ultimately responsible. Truth is, these people just don't like
God being the Places. They want desperately to contribute SOMETHING.
Sorry. The quicker we get used to God being God, the happier and calmer we will be. AND THE MORE THANKFUL.