Santa Claus and the Christian God both have lists and check them twice. They're both going to find out who is naughty and who is nice. They are both quite easily offended, it turns out. If you're nice, Santa Claus gives you a candy cane; the Christian God lets you onto the streets of gold. If you're naughty, Santa gives you a lump of coal. If only the Christian God were this gracious. The Christian God turns you INTO a lump of coal—but a conscious one that never leaves the fire. 
 

Not even the Grinch thought of that one. The Bumble WOULD have thought of it but Hermie the Dentist pulled his teeth and he lost his mojo.